5 Techniques to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence at Work
“Emotions can get in the way or get you on the way.” — Mavis Mazhura
One of the most critical aspects of leadership is demonstrating emotional intelligence (EI). In my leadership development courses, I’ve learned just how crucial it is to regulate EI, something that often carries more weight than intelligence quotient (IQ) or technical skills.
In leadership school, I discovered that leaders actually drive the moods and behaviors of individuals in their organization through a neurological process called mood contagion, the spontaneous spread of emotions and related behaviors. EI means being able to recognize your own feelings (self-awareness) and those of others (social awareness), then adjusting your style accordingly.
Here are five effective techniques you can practice avoiding emotional hijackings at work and strengthen your focus, resilience, and control.
1. Practice Breathing and Counting
Take a long, deep breath in, and as you inhale, say the number one to yourself. As you exhale, relax your body. Repeat with number two, and continue through ten or as long as needed.
I personally use this in meetings when someone gets under my skin or fails to hold up their end of the bargain. This works because the combination of breathing and counting naturally relaxes your body, making it much harder to stay angry or upset.
2. Create an Emotion vs. Reason List
When emotions are clouding your judgment, try writing down what your emotions are saying on one side of the page, and what reason is saying on the other.
We’ve all been stuck in endless meetings where doodling becomes tempting. Instead, use that time to create this list. It brings clarity and helps answer key questions: Where is emotion clouding your judgment? Where is reason ignoring important cues from your emotions?
3. Bring a Bottle of Water
This is one of my favorite tricks! Every time you feel the urge to react emotionally, take a sip of water instead.
I’ve been practicing this habit in meetings, and it’s a game-changer. The truth is, you can’t drink and talk at the same time, and that momentary pause helps you choose a calmer, more thoughtful response.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
We are often our harshest critics, I know I am. Instead of being overly critical, practice speaking to yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend.
Tell yourself it’s okay to feel this way or to make a mistake. Self-compassion reduces harsh self-criticism, promotes resilience, and helps you handle difficult emotions with greater ease, whether after a workplace error or even criticism from a supervisor.
5. Start a Gratitude Practice
Each morning, spend a few minutes writing down things you’re grateful for, especially at work.
For example: “I am grateful I arrived at work safely,” or “I am grateful for a team that supports me.” Gratitude shifts your focus away from negativity and toward the positive aspects of your environment, which naturally strengthens EI and improves workplace outlook.
BLUF: Leaders drive the moods and behaviors of their teams, but even if you’re not in a leadership role, your ability to manage your emotions still influences those around you. In fact, this is what makes someone a leader in the making.
When practiced consistently, these techniques will position you to lead with greater clarity, empathy, and influence. Together, your EI, IQ, and personality shape how you think, act, and interact, especially in the workplace.
So, which technique resonates most with you?
Ready to put these techniques into practice? Share which one you’ll try first in the comments, and don’t forget to pass this post along to a colleague who could use a boost in emotional intelligence at work.
